Money and Love in Relationships
Some men believe that providing a lady with all her needs would be a guarantee to marry her.
However, this may turn out to have serious consequences especially when a lady uses the money given to her as an opportunity to have a relationship with other men.
As reported by Instablog9ja, former BBNaija housemate, Tochi has advised that men should not give their ladies too much money if they want to have a future with them.
He also stated that a lady who sees a future in her man would not ask him for money too often.
This caused a lot of reactions online and below are some of them:
Many would argue that the statement that Tochi Oke made shows that men should be watchful of ladies who only care about material things.
These ladies in questions will demand and continue to demand but their mind will never goes to the intents again except that money. The love will continue to drop and the more you give the more they demand.
When you give more to ladies everyday, they take you for granted and may not remain loyal to you in difficult times and this leaves them in serious disappointment.
Relationship and Money
Knowing how much money your partner makes is important. I’m not saying you have to start asking for bank statements on a second date, but if you’ve been together for a while, and plan to stay together, or if you’re planning to move in together, you don’t want to have “Surprise! I’m broke!” suddenly come up.
It’s more than fine to support your partner in trying times, and have them do the same for you, but you don’t want to wake up one day to someone simply expecting you to carry them.
You want to know that while your partner might not always be in a comfortable financial situation, their ultimate goal is to be able to put money in the bank, not to ride on your coattails like some lazy freeloader. And
yes, as mentioned above, there might be times when you need to unexpectedly support the other person in your relationship.
Things happen—people lose jobs, big bills need to be suddenly paid—and in these moments, you’ll learn that your relationship is a financial partnership as much as a romantic and emotional one.
You need to understand that when it comes to money, if you’re in a serious relationship, you’re in it together. Their hard times are your hard times now, and vise versa.
Before Going Into Any Relationship
You need to have similar financial priorities
Focusing on sussing out whether or not a potential partner is someone who you can trust with money is way easier than trying to have a relationship where one person is constantly monitoring the other’s spending.
You need to make sure that you are both capable of being reasonable, respectful and communicative when it comes to everyday spending, and that you share the same goals when it comes to spending and saving in general.
For example, when one person wants to save for a new dining room table and the other person is impulsively spending money on a night out with friends on a regular or semi-regular basis, there’s a pretty fundamental mismatch in priorities, which isn’t healthy and isn’t sustainable.
When you’re living together, your spending habits matter, and will always affect the other person.
While you can’t demand someone run every penny by you, you should trust that your partner isn’t going to blow money the two of you need on something frivolous.
You can’t police your partner, so you need to be able to trust their judgement with finances, and that’s much easier when the two of you share similar goals.
Planning a financial future together is important if you want to get live together/ get married/ have kids.
A stable relationship often involves planning a future, whatever that looks like:
Renting together, buying a house, owning cars, having kids, taking lots of vacations.
Whatever your path looks like, money is important because where you spend it is going to dictate how you live, and how you achieve your goals together.
It’s too easy to fight about money if you don’t pay proper attention to the way money functions within your relationship, it can be destructive.
If you don’t communicate and have an open dialogue about your finances, you can find yourselves fighting about how the other spends money. You use money every day.
Money affects everything from where you live to what you have for breakfast. Of course it’s going to affect the way two people who are sharing their lives, to whatever degree, live with one another.
It’s important to pay attention to it, and to make sure that you’re clear enough in your financial discussions that it doesn’t sneak up and cause unnecessary friction.